Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Nate and Kate Should Probably Date


I mean, everybody loves a rhyme. Nate, Kate, and date all rhyme. A sign? I think yes.

This is the story of the great adventure of Nate and Kate. It was not a date. Thus far, thwarting fate, but it is not too late. Perhaps Nate just wants to wait. On their adventure they climbed through a gate, found some pieces of crate, went fishing without bait, saw two cats trying to mate...

Okay. I am done now. Ran out of rhyming words.

I am a sneak-thief. And I conned Nate into coming with me on my latest escapade. It wasn't actually that hard. I just asked if he wanted to come on an epic adventure and he signed right up. There was this place that I saw while driving around, and I really wanted to visit. It looked like a haunted house. All burnt and crumbling, with tons of rusty metal lying all around it.

Exhibit A 

Anyways, Nate and I arrived early in the morning, for to be less likely to get spotted. We drove my car through a vast plain of weeds, and up near the forbidden area--an old industrial area near what Utah calls a river. On our way to the burnt structure, I saw something that warranted further investigation.

We had to scale a fence, which was quite a feat for me. I haven't jumped a fence in years. I was so afraid that I was going to fall. Nate cleared the fence in 2 seconds flat and beat me to the tarp that we were investigating. My personal thought was that the tarp was covering a whiskey still. Nate thought a serial killer was stashing bodies underneath it. We both agreed that it was hiding something though. The whole area was run down and dirty. The tarp looked brand new. It was shiny blue, held down most carefully by strategically placed rocks. It had to be covering something interesting.

Nate got to the tarp just before I did, and proceeded to tell me that I didn't need to look, because my hopes were going to be dashed. At this point I had just crossed the fence, and wasn't about to have gone through all that work for nothing. So of course I had to look.

It was wood. Just a ton of old, decaying, wooden planks.

How lame is that? Who in their right mind carefully protects already weathered wood from the elements? What is the point? The wood is already ruined. Just leave it out. Seriously.

But never you worry, I decided that since the tarp had proved to be a dud, we should continue exploring. And we saw lots of cool things. For example, I am convinced that a sea/water monster lives in the Provo River. I swear I saw the head of a prehistoric fish-thing rise from the water at one point. It was kind of creepy. And I discovered a gate that let me get out of the fenced area so I didn't have to risk my life climbing it again. Nate decided that he was going to beat me to the burnt building, and vaulted the fence while I was running around the long way. Unfortunately for him, I am quick. So he injured himself, and didn't even win. Poor guy.

Then we went to the burnt building and I got the metal I came for. But that is the boring part, so that is all I am going to tell you about it. There are much more exciting things. Like the cat colony.

While Nate and I were walking through the woods, nothing around us for miles, we came upon a little village of crates that had thousands of cats living in them.

Exhibit B

Someone has been taking care of these feral cats: feeding them, giving them shelter, probably bringing in new ones. It was crazy.

Who is enough of an animal lover to do that? I am convinced that this cat-lover who has been caring for these cats is the sole reason that Provo is overrun by wild felines. They need to stop. It just isn't healthy to have this many cats in one place. Although it probably does cut down on the number of rodents. Which is a good thing. I have changed my position. As long as the cats don't carry rabies, I am okay with them being there.

In short, hanging out with Nate is super fun. And he wants to go on more adventures. So who knows, maybe we will become a cute, rhyming couple some day.

Quick-like Explanation

Just because I am worried that people won't get the whole premise of this blog, I am going to explain it super-duper short like. Basically, I am going to tell stories that are loosely based on my life. They will be greatly enhanced to increase the interestingness of me. My life isn't really all that exciting, so I am just going to pretend like it is. And also, get all the lying out of my system so I won't be tempted to tell less-than-truthful things to the people I see everyday. In a nutshell, I am going to invent, and you are going to have to decide what is real for yourself.